Dr. Fauci also known as the (Wuhan Wizard), has just introduced the covid rewards card. This is the card that will give you points for every shot you get, points for every flu shot and double points for every covid shot and triple points for every covid booster shot.
Points can be redeemed for things like the designer air suppression mask that actually keeps out all infected air by letting you just breath the oxygen that is already in your lungs. It just keeps recycling your own breath so there is no fear of breathing outside contaminated air. Also you can use points for the social distancing body sensor. It fits around your waste and if someone gets within six feet it will set off alarm, lights will flash and it has a built in voice that screams BACK OFF YOU VARMINT!! Batteries not included it comes in florescent Chinese pink.
Every month there is a new drawing that uses the number off your rewards card for exciting fantastic prizes. This month you could win a slightly used ambulance. It is in excellent condition. Everything is in perfect working order like the oxygen ventilator, defibrillator and three different kinds of IV infusion drugs that you can try if you think you’re getting sick.
The card is going to be continually adding more money saving exciting items for the ones who have the card and are vaccinated, there is no exasperation date but it can not be transferred and becomes invalid in the event that the card holder ceases to be around any longer.
So hurry get your card this month. There is a special promotion for an additional 10 points extra for signing up, taking the regular flu shot plus the Pfizer, Johnson And Johnson and a Moderna jab. Dr. Fauci says by getting every shot at one time something should work! Right now it is just a shot in the dark as to which one is the best so get them all.
Don’t delay to get in on this special offer. People are dying to get this money saving rewards card and when they’re gone they’re gone!!!
For Goldendale Matters News: Your reporter Delmer Eldred